A Helping Hand
by Trapped in a MatchBox
Summary: Kate helps Castle through a tough time when he receives some bad news.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I'll talk more about what prompted this at the end of this chapter. But for now, this will most likely be a two, maybe three-shot. Since, you know, I have a tendency to ramble a lot.**

**Disclaimer: Castle is obviously not mine, otherwise they'd be making babies already.**

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><p><strong>A Helping Hand<strong>

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><p>It was a hot summer day in the middle of July. The precinct had the AC running at its max power, but the heat was still perpetrating the walls of the Twelfth as Kate sat at her desk reviewing a cold case. It was Friday afternoon and they didn't have any ongoing investigations, which was actually a good thing for once. No case meant not having to leave the precinct until it was time to go home, which in turn meant that she didn't have to brave the scorching sun outside. She was starting to regret not taking her Dad's offer to get out of town for a few days since she had vacation days piling up. But she had been in the middle of a case then and now she was stuck in freaking New York City in the middle of a terrible heat wave.<p>

Huh, _heat wave_, she chuckled at her own bad pun.

If she said something like that to Castle, she was sure she would be in for some kind of suggestive remark about Nikki and Rook that would make her roll her eyes. Speaking of him, she was starting to get worried. He had gone to the break room to take a phone call half an hour ago and hadn't come back yet. Closing the file sitting at her desk, her eyes searched for him through the break room window, but the blinds were closed. Damn.

Oh, well, it was probably something related to the new book, which was going to hit the bookstores in a week and she knew Paula and Gina had been calling incessantly about book tours and interviews and signings all over New York. Yeah, that was probably it. Still, none of those calls ever took that long.

God, was she really that bored? Obsessing about his calls with his agent and publicist? Really, Kate? Really? But then again, she was just concerned. After working day in and day out with him for the past four years, Kate could say with absolute certainty that she knew him. And this? It was definitely not like him. In fact, he usually tried to keep those calls on the short side, so something was definitely up.

Of course, he could be talking to someone else completely different. A woman maybe? Kate leaned forward to try to look through the door to the break room, but she still couldn't see him. Capturing her bottom lip with her teeth, she debated with herself for a moment whether she should go check on him or not. It wasn't jealousy. Of course not, he was free to be with whoever he wanted. That is, if it really was a woman. Which she could be completely worrying about nothing.

Not that she was jealous.

No. Definitely not jealous.

But that didn't mean she couldn't just go make herself a cappuccino, right? He was the one who usually fulfilled her caffeine needs, but since he wasn't available, she would have to go make it herself. With that decision in mind, Kate stood up and asked Ryan and Esposito if they wanted some coffee, to which they both said thanks, but they were good. Shrugging, she started in the direction of the break room, stopping at the door when her eyes finally found Castle sitting on the couch. His phone was tossed carelessly on the table and he had a strange look on his face. At first glance she would say he looked sad, but it wasn't quite that.

"Castle?" She pushed herself off the doorsill and started to walk towards him. He looked up abruptly, eyes wide, and as she got closer she noticed they seemed awfully shiny and reddish. "Hey, you okay?" She asked concerned and he nodded stiffly. She could see him swallowing hard after taking a deep breath.

"Yeah. Um, I'm going to have to…" He stopped talking suddenly and took another deep breath, clearing his throat. "I have to go." He stood up and she stopped in front of him, searching his eyes.

"What happened?" She asked softly, but he just shook his head. Surely if something had happened to Alexis or Martha, he would tell her, right?

"I'm fine, Kate. I just have to… to go somewhere." His voice was quiet and he wouldn't meet her eyes.

"Is it Alexis? Your mom?" She insisted, still blocking his path when he tried to side step her.

"No, no. They're fine. I talked to Alexis this morning and she said they were going to Spain tonight." He ran a hand through his hair agitatedly, looking around the room. Anywhere but her, Kate noticed.

"Castle," she reached out and touched his arm. "I know something happened because I can see you're not okay." She gave his arm an encouraging squeeze and he sighed, sitting back down with his head in his hands. "Hey, whatever it is, I'm here for you. You know that." She crouched down in front of him and rested her hands on his knees for balance and in an attempt to comfort him.

"I, uh…" He took another deep, steadying breath before continuing. "That was my Aunt Margaret on the phone a few minutes ago." He said slowly as if struggling to get the words out and Kate nodded encouragingly. "My cousin Sam was in a car crash yesterday. He didn't make it." The last part came out in a strangled whisper and Kate felt like she had been punched in the stomach.

God, he had been here suffering this whole time while she was out there thinking he was flirting with another woman. She felt like the worst person in the world.

"Oh, Rick, I'm so sorry." She said gently and sat next to him to pull him into a hug. "Were you guys close?" He hugged her back tightly and she felt a something warm wet her cheek.

"We were when we were kids, but I hadn't seen him in years." He pulled back and she took his hand in hers, reaching out to brush away the stray tear trailing down his cheek with her thumb. "I don't even know why it's hitting me so hard." He closed his eyes and shook his head, apparently trying to shake the grief away.

"He was your cousin, of course it's going to affect you." She caressed the back of his hand gently and he leaned back on the couch, eyes still closed.

"I have to go to the funeral. God, I don't even know how to tell Mother about this." He swallowed hard and turned his head to look at her. "I have to go."

"When is it? The funeral?" She asked quietly and he sighed.

"Tomorrow morning. But I have to go today. They live in Cape Cod, it's a few hours' drive." Rubbing his face to get rid of any remnants of tears, he stood up, bringing her with him. "I gotta go home, get a change of clothes and go." He squeezed her hand appreciatively and made to let go and start toward the door, but she stopped him.

"Hey," She called softly and he turned back to her. "Do you want me to go with you?" She asked hesitantly and his eyes widened, obviously surprised that she was offering.

"You don't have to do that, Kate…" He started, but the sadness in his eyes made her even surer this was the right thing to do. "I mean, don't you have to be here?"

"I'll talk to Gates. I have vacation days that are about to expire, so I'll just use them." He opened his mouth to protest, but she shook her head and squeezed his hand again. "You don't have to do this alone, Castle. Let me help." She whispered and he nodded, letting out a shaky breath. "Okay, I'm going to go talk to her and then we'll go. Will you be okay for a few minutes?" She asked gently and he nodded again, going back to the couch and collapsing on it. She followed him back and felt her heart ache for the sheer sadness displayed on his features as he leaned his head back with his eyes closed. Leaning down, she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "It gets easier." She whispered in his ear and smiled when he opened his eyes and met hers. "I'll be right back." She stood up and made her way towards the door.

"Hey, Kate?" He called out, his voice hoarse, and she turned around. "Thank you."

"Always, Castle. Partners, remember?"

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><p>"Come on, let's go."<p>

Kate popped her head into the break room again where Castle was still in the exact same position she had left him twenty minutes ago when she went to talk to Captain Gates. He opened his eyes and tried to smile at her, failing miserably. The sadness was obvious in his features and this was uncharted territory for her. He was always the cheerful one of the two of them. Now that she thought about it, this was probably the first time she was experiencing a devastated Rick Castle and that was disconcerting to say the least.

She offered him a small, sympathetic smile and entered the room, walking towards him. Reaching out her hand, she waited until he took it and pulled him up. He stood up willingly and looked at her gratefully to which she gave his hand a light squeeze before letting go.

"Did Gates give the all clear?" He asked quietly, following her out into the bullpen.

"Yeah. I have the entire weekend off." Kate told him as they reached her desk. Stopping to collect her things, she watched him as he sat down to turn off her computer.

"Did you tell her why?" He stood up again and she pulled him gently by the arm in the direction of the elevator.

"I didn't think it was my place." She finally replied when they were out of ear range and pushed the button. "I just told her I had some personal business to take care of." He nodded and offered her a small smile in return.

They entered the elevator and leaned against the back wall, arms touching as they descended to the first floor. When the doors opened, Kate touched his arm and nodded in the direction of the Twelfth Precinct entrance. They were silent the whole way to her car and also during the short drive to her apartment so she could pack an overnight bag. Kate didn't really know what to say and she knew that, in cases like this, just having company is enough. Words would feel empty and do little to comfort him, so she chose to leave him alone with his thoughts. When they arrived at her place, she touched his arm to get his attention. He seemed to snap out of it and turned to her, startled.

"Wow, sorry. Guess I spaced out." He looked at her sheepishly and she shook her head.

"No, don't worry about it. Do you mind coming up for a minute? I'll just grab some clothes and we can go." She asked and he nodded, getting out of the car.

Once in her apartment, Kate did a quick job of packing a couple of changes of clothes, including a more sober dress to attend the funeral tomorrow. She could hear Castle rummaging around her kitchen and wondered what he was up to. Fifteen minutes later, she emerged from her room to the smell of fresh coffee. He was sitting at her kitchen table with a mug in his hands, seemingly lost in thought. She made her way to him and he looked up as she reached him.

"I made us some coffee. It's a long way to Cape Cod." He told her and she dropped her bag on one of the free chairs and sat down across from him as he slid a mug towards her.

"Thanks." She told him and took a sip. "Have you talked to Martha?" she asked quietly after a couple of minutes in silence. He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head.

"It's pretty late there and…" He trailed off and looked down at the wooden surface, his thumb trailing over the ceramic mug absentmindedly. "I still don't know how to tell her." He admitted after a moment.

"It's going to be okay, you know?" She reached across the table and touched his hand. "I know it seems impossibly hard now, but it does get easier after a while. I promise."

"I know. I just…" He took a sip of his coffee, as if drawing strength from the warm dark liquid. "I just keep thinking that I should've stayed in touch with him, you know? I always thought we had more time." He shook his head with a wry smile and turned his palm up, his fingers closing over hers. She nodded and gave him a sad smile. "I really appreciate you doing this, Kate. I really do."

"Rick, you're my best friend. I'd never let you face something like this alone." She said honestly and felt his thumb brush over the back of her hand, leaving a tingling sensation in its trail that she tried to ignore. Now was not the time for this. "It's in the best friend rule book." She quipped with a small grin and was proud of herself when he chuckled quietly. Drinking the rest of her coffee, she squeezed his hand that was still wrapped around hers. "Let's go?"

"Let's go."

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><p>By five in the afternoon they were finally on the road. They had stopped by the loft quickly so Castle could pack a few things and soon Kate was driving down I-95. He had insisted on driving, but in the end they compromised in sharing driver duty. Kate would drive the first half of the way and he would take the wheel for the last part since she didn't exactly know where they were going in Cape Cod. Even though this was not the vacation she had envisioned, Kate was kind of excited about going on this impromptu road trip with him. Over the past year, they had gotten a lot closer and would spend time together outside of the precinct for no other reason than enjoying each other' company quite often these days. Although this was obviously not the ideal scenario, she was glad that she could be there for him in a moment like this. After all, he had supported her and comforted her so many times over the years that it was only fair that she returned the favor.<p>

He was quiet for the first hour on the road. She had let him fiddle with the radio all he wanted, but he eventually got bored and just leaned his head against the window, looking out at the passing scenery. Kate tried to engage him in conversation a few times, but decided to leave him alone after the third attempt failed. She remembered being like this when her grandma died when she was a teenager and then when her mom was killed. She didn't want to talk to anyone for days, but she appreciated the company she had at the time. So she let him be. After a while, she turned to look at him and found him fast asleep. Smiling to herself, she decided she would let him rest as she was sure he was probably emotionally exhausted.

Hours later, when she took the Exit 20 towards East Providence, she heard him stir next to her.

"Hey, sleepyhead." She greeted him teasingly as he looked at her groggily, then looked around, apparently trying to determine where they were.

"Hey," he rubbed his eyes sleepily and Kate suddenly saw a much younger version of him shining through and had to fight the urge to reach out and run her fingers through his hair, coaxing him back to sleep. "Why didn't you wake me?"

"Thought you could use the time to rest." She smiled and turned back to the road. "Maybe we should stop and get some dinner?" She suggested and he nodded, still looking sleepy.

"What time is it?" He asked, blinking away any remnants of sleep and sat up straighter in his seat.

"Almost 9." She said and he let out a sigh. "Which explains why I'm so hungry. I only had lunch."

"We could've stopped sooner, you know." He reached out and touched her thigh lightly in acknowledgement of what she had done to let him rest. She looked at him for a moment with a tender smile and nodded, covering his hand with hers.

"I know." She said simply and could see the gratitude and tenderness in his eyes.

She knew he loved her, had known for a while; it was times like these that she wished she wasn't such a coward, that they could have already dove into this together. Right now, seeing grief strike him, she longed to comfort him better than this; to hold him close and keep him safe without having to justify it to the world and to themselves. But she had chosen this path and, even though she felt more than ready to jump right in, she still lacked the courage to take the first step. So for now, she offered him what she could.

As she parked in front of a diner, she turned the ignition off and watched as he talked quietly to his aunt on the phone, asking for the address they were supposed to go. She took the couple of minutes he was busy jotting down the address on his palm and listening to his aunt explain how to get there to watch his profile. It wasn't often that she got to do that and she fought the urge to reach out to him. His hand had only left her thigh – where it had been rubbing light circles absentmindedly on – when he needed something to write the address down on. She welcomed his touch and it seemed that their proximity served as a way to comfort him, so Kate was more than okay with it. She knew he had been noticing the sudden changes, how she was letting him get closer into her personal space without any complaints. She had caught him watching her curiously a few minutes before they stopped and offered him a smile. Since she couldn't find the courage to actually come right out and say the words, she hoped that her actions spoke louder than her words could.

"Remind me to save these on my phone once we get inside." He told her after hanging up and she nodded. "Come on. Let's go eat." He offered her a small smile and got out of the car, waiting for her to lock it and join him.

Once she reached him, they started in the direction of the diner and Kate felt his warm hand touch the small of her back lightly and let out a breath.

Maybe he was getting her signals after all.

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><p><strong>AN: So here's the story behind this. I've always found that writing about something that I'm feeling or that is bothering me makes me feel better. I wrote last week a one-shot about Castle being sick because I had a terrible cold and it was my way of dealing with it. And it honestly made me feel better. This story happened because my family is going through a tough time lately. I have an Aunt (mom's sister) who has just found out she needs heart surgery and soon. She's been in the hospital for the past couple of weeks and it's been taking a toll on the family. This weekend, her husband crashed his car and didn't survive. While I wasn't exactly close to him, his son is one of my favorite people in the world and he is having to face his father's death alone while his mother is in the hospital. He is only 18. I wish I could be there for him, but he lives all the way across the country. So this was my way of letting out all these feelings. And you know what? It helped a little bit.**

**Anyway, thoughts?**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I just wanted to say that I am so lucky to be a part of this fandom. We really are a family and your kind words meant the world to me. Thank you so, so much.**

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><p><strong>A Helping Hand<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

"We should probably get going." He said when she yawned for the third time, leaning against the window.

They were still at the diner in Providence, but their meal was long gone. The burgers and fries they had shared, now warmed Kate's stomach and made her drowsy. After all, it was already past 10 and she had been driving for hours on top of working practically all day. Exhaustion was starting to catch up with her and she nodded, agreeing with him.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." She sat up straighter on her side of the booth and bumped her knees with his affectionately. "How long until we get there?" She asked after he asked their waitress for the check. The waitress came back and, before Kate could even reach for her wallet, Castle had already thrown a couple of twenties on the table and stood up. "Castle…" She sighed, annoyed, but he only shrugged.

"You can pay for it when we stop here on our way back home." He grinned at her and she rolled her eyes. Deep down, however, she was glad that he was smiling again. "And we still have another hour or so to go. I'm driving, though." He said firmly and she chuckled, handing him the keys.

"Be my guest." She teased and he took the keys from her, his fingers brushing hers in the process, causing her skin to tingle where they had touched. "We still have to look for a place to stay, right?"

They started toward the door and as soon as they stepped out into the warm Rhode Island air, Kate felt his hand touch the small of her back again, guiding her to the car. She chanced a glance at him out of the corner of her eye and found him looking straight ahead, a small smile playing on his lips. Shaking her head, amused, she relaxed into his touch and even stepped a little closer to him, losing the battle against a yawn.

"Tired?" He asked quietly, his lips suddenly so close to her ear that she could almost feel them brushing her skin and made her shiver slightly at their proximity.

"A little, yeah. It's been a long day." She said when they reached the car. He opened the door for her and she settled on the passenger seat, waiting for him to go around the car to the driver's side. "How are you doing?" she asked softly after he put on his seatbelt. He looked at her for a moment and then leaned his head back on the seat, letting out a sigh.

"I don't know." He answered honestly and she nodded. "I don't think it really hit me yet." He offered her a sad smile, turning the key in the ignition as the car roared back to life.

She mimicked his move from earlier and reached out, touching his thigh gently. He turned to look at her briefly, but she could see the grateful look in his eyes as he eased the car back into traffic. Leaving her hand where it was, she relaxed back into the seat and closed her eyes. A few minutes later, after they had left the city behind and were back on the Interstate, she felt him touch her hand and close his fingers around it, lifting it up to his lips. Opening her eyes, surprised, she turned to look at him and found him smiling as he sneaked glances at her.

"What?" She asked a little self-consciously, a small smile tugging her lips up. He squeezed her hand and put it back on his thigh, but didn't let go.

"You really are extraordinary." He mused and she bit her lip, feeling her face heat up a little.

"Thanks, Castle." She watched him for a moment, trying to determine what had made him say that. After a minute of her mind drawing a blank, she turned back to him. "Although I have no idea why you think that." She said sheepishly and he chuckled.

"I don't think we have enough time for me to list everything." He threw a teasing grin in her direction and she rolled her eyes.

"Flattery will get you nowhere." She stated with a laugh and he shrugged, smiling at her boyishly before turning back to the road ahead.

"Just this, Kate. You coming with me, not pushing me to talk, _this,_" He lifted their joined hands to show her and she brushed her thumb over the back of his hand in acknowledgment. "Everything, really."

"No place I'd rather be, Rick." She said earnestly and he nodded, lacing his fingers through hers. "Really." She squeezed his hand and closed her eyes, after seeing him smile softly out at the road.

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><p>When they finally made it to Cape Cod it was close to midnight. Kate had fallen asleep halfway there and just as he was parking in front of a hotel, she stirred and looked around groggily. Stretching her legs (she had pulled her knees up and fallen asleep like that so she felt a little stiff from sitting in the same position for over an hour), she turned to look at him when the engine died.<p>

"Hey, sleepyhead." He threw her own words back to her playfully and she chuckled. "We're here." He said, taking the keys out of ignition and handing them back to her.

"Sorry, didn't mean to fall asleep on you." She yawned and he shook his head, dismissing her apology. She looked out at the hotel and sighed. "Let's hope they have vacancies. It is summer, after all."

"Let's go check it out, then." He told her and got out of the car, waiting for her by the trunk so they could get their bags. She popped it open and he quickly grabbed both of their bags, shrugging when Kate glared at him for carrying hers. "What, I'm trying to be a gentleman here." He said, a teasing glint in his eyes. "Come on." He nodded in the direction of the hotel and they started toward it.

Stepping into the building, he guided her to the reception area. A young man behind the counter smiled at them in welcome as Kate asked if he had two free rooms for tonight. Just as Kate expected, he offered an apology and said that unfortunately they were fully booked.

"Oh, wait. Ma'am!" The young man called after them when they were making their way to the exit. "We do have one room available, if that's alright. The Barnstable Village. It's one of our best."

"Perfect. We'll take it." Castle said, handing him his credit card.

He gave him his information and a couple of minutes later, a bellboy was leading them to their room. Kate felt a little apprehensive about being in a confined space with a guy she obviously had feelings for and was extremely attracted to. Castle looked like he had no problem at all about sleeping in the same room as her as he once again touched the small of her back. Then again, it was silly of her to expect or hope that anything would happen between them in these circumstances. Right now she had to focus on being his friend, on supporting him and giving him strength to get through this.

"Right this way, sir." The kid was no older than eighteen and still had a baby face, even though he was really tall. He opened the door to their room and placed their bags on the couch. "If you need anything, room service is available all night." He informed and Castle nodded as Kate looked around the room in wonder.

"Thank you." He handed the kid a nice tip and wished him a good night before closing the door behind him. "Not too bad, huh?" He asked her and she bit her lip, nodding.

"Not too bad at all. I can take the couch tonight." She offered, pointing at the couch to the left of the king size bed. The room was really spacious with the one bed, a couch and a small kitchen further to the right. A big flat screen TV hung on the wall and double doors led to a small deck where they could see the marina, where several boats were anchored, as they danced slowly in the dark water. "You need to get a good night's sleep, Rick." She added when he opened his mouth to protest.

"Doesn't mean you need to be uncomfortable, Kate. That's ridiculous." He rolled his eyes and she sighed, looking at the bed. "We're adults here. We can sleep in the same bed and it doesn't have to mean anything." He said quietly and she bit her lip, pondering her options for a moment.

"Okay." She gave in and stepped out of her shoes, letting out a quiet moan when her bare feet touched the floor. "Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?" She asked and he shook his head, taking off his shoes as well. Kate nodded and grabbed her bag, making her way to the bathroom.

After a quick shower, she felt refreshed. New York had been incredibly hot and she had been feeling hot and sweaty all day long. Now, she put on a pair of shorts and an old tank top, before checking her reflection in the mirror. She had not anticipated having to share a room with Castle and this was the only thing she had to wear to bed. It would have to do, she thought, pulling her hair up in a loose ponytail. After removing her makeup, she brushed her teeth and deemed herself ready to go back into the room.

A quick survey of the space told her that he was nowhere to be found. Frowning, she placed her bag back on the couch and made her way to the small deck outside. Sure enough, there he was, sitting in one of the vine chairs, looking out at the boats. It was a clear night and the full moon was shining brightly on the sky, its light casting a cool glow down on the water. It was a mesmerizing view.

"Hey," she said quietly and he jumped, startled, and turned around. "Bathroom's free if you want to use it." He nodded and she sat down on the chair next to him.

"I used to come here a lot when I was a kid." He told her after a moment, relaxing back into the chair. "Every summer until I was 16, 17 maybe, I would come here for a couple of weeks while Mother was busy with her plays or movies. My Uncle Charlie had a boat and Sam and I would spend hours pretending to be pirates or bringing girls here when we were older." He turned to her with a cheeky grin and she chuckled, shaking her head. "Sam was two years older than me and he was kind of the guy I looked up to, you know? Especially when he started high school and had all these girls chasing him. I thought he was the coolest guy ever." He let out a quiet laugh, looking out at water thoughtfully.

"Why didn't you guys keep in touch?" She asked quietly, resting her hand next to his on the small table that sat between their chairs. Rick sighed and shook his head, regret obvious in his eyes.

"I don't know, really. He started college and went out to the west coast and I stayed here. Then I started college and published my first book and I guess we never made time for each other." He shrugged sadly and she covered his hand with hers. He immediately turned his palm up, threading his fingers through hers and gave her a small smile. "We did see each other a few times over the years. Usually at family events. I think the last time I saw him was maybe three years ago, I don't know. No, it was before that. I hadn't met you yet." He finished with a small grin, but she could see it didn't reach his eyes. "Alexis was still a little girl."

"I know it doesn't fix anything now," she started slowly. "But at least you have years of memories with him in your childhood, you know? You should hold on to that."

"Yeah, I know." He brushed his thumb over the back of her hand gently and sighed. "That's the funny thing about life, isn't it? We always think we have more time." He said sadly and Kate couldn't help but relate to their own issues and how it was her fault they were wasting precious time because she couldn't deal with her inner demons.

"We should cherish the time we have with the people we love, then." She said quietly, mostly to herself, but from his quick intake of breath, he heard it too.

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye and found him watching her curiously, as if trying to understand what exactly she meant by that. She squeezed his hand and turned to him, holding his gaze for a moment and allowing him to search her eyes for whatever hidden meaning he thought he might find. After a moment, a smile tugged a corner of his lips up and he looked at her in wonder. Kate bit her lip, feeling a little self-conscious under his intense gaze, but stood her ground. He nodded almost imperceptibly and brought their joined hands to his lips, placing a soft kiss to the back of her hand.

"I think I'm going to go take a quick shower. Do you want to order anything?" He asked as he stood up and she shook her head.

"No, I'm not hungry. Unless you want something?" She added and he shook his head, that look of wonder still present in his eyes as he watched a lose strand of her hair fly in the breeze. "I'm just going to go to bed, then. Maybe watch some TV for a little while."

"Okay. I'll be back soon." He said and went back into the room, leaving her alone with her thoughts. Now she felt a little uneasy for what she said and hoped against hope he understood her message.

Standing up, she watched the boats float aimlessly in the breeze, the moonlight shining brightly down on them. After a couple of minutes, she went back inside and slipped under the covers in bed. She turned the TV on, but dozed off in a matter of minutes. When she woke up again, the room was dark and she felt Rick slip under the covers next to her. Every cell in her body screamed at her to move closer, but she remained still as a statue, almost afraid to breathe too loudly and betray that she was awake.

Closing her eyes, she tried to fall back asleep, but he kept moving around, apparently trying to find a better position. It wasn't until he touched her that everything seemed to stand still. He stopped abruptly and she could feel that his hand was hovering close to her stomach, as he seemed unsure of what to do now that he had touched her. With a sigh, Kate decided to move slightly closer to him, hoping he would take that as permission to touch her without feeling guilty. A few tense seconds passed before she finally felt his hand rest lightly on her stomach, his touch still unsure. She moved a little closer again and he seemed to get his confidence back as his hand slid over her stomach and he wrapped his arm around her, pulling her impossibly closer.

With a satisfied sigh, she closed her eyes again, relaxing now that she could feel his body against hers, warm and reassuring. It wasn't even sexual; it was more of a comfort for both of them.

She felt him press a kiss to her cheek and smiled in the darkness.

"Night, Kate." He whispered and she could feel his smile as he burrowed his face into her neck, confidence back in full power.

"Night, Rick."

The sound of his steady breathing soon lulled her back to sleep.

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><p><strong>AN: Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So I lied. This is not going to be a three-shot because I still have another chapter to go. Thank you so much for all your support and comforting words. I'm glad you guys are enjoying this story.**

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><p><strong>A Helping Hand<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

The shrill sound of her cell phone startled her awake. Kate groaned and rolled to her side sleepily, patting the space next to her pillow blindly in an attempt to find her phone and make it shut the hell up. In the midst of her exhaustion and emotional confusion last night, she had completely forgotten to turn it off as it was usually set to 6am every day. When her hand finally found the offending object, she closed her fingers around it and brought it up, closing her eyes momentarily at the harsh light.

"Turn it off. Too early." She heard a groggy voice mumble behind her and smiled involuntarily at his obvious grumpiness at being so rudely awoken.

Resetting it for 9am, she put it back where it was next to her pillow and returned to her previous position. With a content sigh, she snuggled back into the warmth that his body provided, allowing his scent and his steady heartbeat to slowly lull her back to sleep. Before she could fully embrace the world of dreams, however, something became very clear in her mind.

She was in bed with Castle.

_Oh._

Granted, she had slept wrapped in his warmth willingly, but this was a new day. It was morning and she had voluntarily come back to his arms as if this was the most common occurrence in the world. Normal. Ordinary. Except it wasn't and now she found herself at a loss of what to do. In the darkness last night, it had been easy to give in to the sheer need for physical contact and comfort. But now, as she watched the room slowly fill with the rising sunlight, she felt… not uncomfortable or awkward, but – strange, maybe?

This, touching, _cuddling in bed_, this kind of intimacy was a first for them. In the four years she had known him, they had never really touched each other a lot. Sure, she knew he loved her and she also knew with absolute certainty that she loved him right back, but this was still not the norm for them. And, as strange as it felt (except it didn't, really), she found herself sinking into his arms nonetheless. It was too comfortable, _too right_ for her to fight it.

"I can almost see smoke coming out of your ears." He whispered and she felt him press his lips to her forehead.

Right, she had now realized her face was burrowed into the crook of his neck, her hands holding onto his shirt. She hadn't even been aware that she had just simply gone back to what was probably the position she had been sleeping in. His fingers had slipped underneath her shirt and were lazily tracing the alphabet on the small of her back.

"What?" She croaked out, still not ready to face him. Instead, she breathed him in and debated whether or not she should place a kiss on his skin, deciding in the end this was still too up in the air.

"You're thinking too loudly." He elaborated and she chuckled sleepily. "Don't."

"I'm not." She protested weakly and he laughed quietly. She finally retreated from her safe place in the crook of his neck and looked up at him.

"Of course you are, Kate. It wouldn't be you otherwise." His hand left the confines of her shirt and came to rest on her hip. He looked positively adorable, she thought to herself, with his hair all over the place and that little boy look gracing his features. Involuntarily, she reached out and ran her fingers through his messy hair gently, that warm, pleasant feeling growing inside her when he closed his eyes. "I like this new side of you." He commented contently and she stilled her hand as it was brushing over his stubbly chin.

"New side?" She asked self-consciously and returned her hand to his chest, resting it over his heart. His grip on her hip tightened slightly and he pulled her a little bit closer to him, apparently getting the meaning behind her actions perfectly.

She should have been surprised, but she wasn't, really. This was Castle. The only person in the world who knew her better than she knew herself.

"New with me." He leaned in and kissed her cheek, lingering for a moment, enough to make her breath catch in her throat. "I'm not entirely sure what's changed, but I like it." He said, his hand now travelling up her back and down again in a feather light touch. His tone was light, but she saw the sincerity and wonder and happiness shining in his eyes.

"I don't know." She breathed and closed her eyes, seeking refuge in the warmth of his neck again. "I just…" she hesitated, pulled back to look at him as he watched her patiently. "I guess… I don't want to waste any more time." She finished and swallowed hard, closing her eyes again.

"Kate…" he started, but she shushed him, touching a finger to his lips.

"We don't have to talk about this now. Not in these circumstances." She said gently and watched as grief clouded his eyes. "We'll figure this out later." She murmured, kissing his chin comfortingly. His hold on her tightened.

"Promise?" He asked, a childlike tone to his voice and Kate smiled softly at him.

"Cross my heart." She promised and snuggled closer to him, letting out a sigh when he kissed her temple.

"Something to look forward to." He said after a moment and she nodded, letting out a yawn. "Sleep?" He questioned with a trace of amusement in his voice. She nodded, kissing his neck lightly, innocently.

"I set the alarm again to 9 o'clock." She mumbled against his skin and felt him react to her touch as a shiver ran through him.

"Okay." He said quietly and she heard him sigh. She knew he was probably dreading going to the funeral, as much as he tried to look strong on the outside. "And Kate?" He called after a minute and she looked up at him as he touched her cheek. "Just for the record, I don't want to waste any more time either."

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><p>They left the hotel a little past ten in the morning. Breakfast had been quiet as she watched him get more and more withdrawn with the proximity of the funeral. There was a new sort of vibe between them since their early morning talk and they seemed more at ease around each other, more comfortable with physical contact than they had ever been before. The short drive to the cemetery was made in silence, but Kate kept her hand on his thigh as a source of comfort and strength for him. He offered a quick, sad smile, but she could feel that the closer they got to the cemetery, the harder it was for him to keep his emotion in check. When they got out of the car, she met him on the driver's side as he looked at what was going to be his cousin's final resting place.<p>

"You ready?" she held his hand and he immediately entwined their fingers. The look in his eyes when he looked at her broke her heart. He nodded. "Okay. Let's go." She squeezed his hand and they started toward the small crowd that was already gathering for the ceremony.

"Richard!" They heard someone call and turned toward the sound. A woman that looked remarkably like Martha waved them over. Rick tugged on her hand and changed their path towards the older woman.

"Hi, Aunt Margaret." He greeted her with a sad smile, reaching out to pull her into a hug. His right hand remained firmly holding Kate's, as if he was afraid to let her go. "I'm so sorry." He whispered and Kate watched the sad scene as Aunt Margaret nodded into his chest. "I can't believe this happened."

"I know, honey. It was just so sudden." Her voice shook and she wiped a stray tear with a light blue handkerchief. "It's good to see you. He had been talking about going to New York lately, catch up with you, you know." His grip on Kate's hand tightened and she tried to soothe him by caressing the back of his hand, willing to pass her strength over to him in any capacity.

"He called me last summer, but…" He sighed and Kate knew all too well why he probably hadn't seen his cousin. Guilt gnawed at her heart. He looked at her for a moment, as if sensing her distress. She shook her head and gave him a small smile, squeezing his hand. "Aunt Margaret, this is Detective Kate Beckett." He introduced and Kate saw as a flash of recognition passed through the woman's eyes. "Kate, this is my Aunt, Margaret Thompson. She's my mom's sister and Sam's mom." Kate shook her hand.

"I'm so sorry about your son, Mrs. Thompson." She said and Margaret nodded, holding Kate's hand with both of hers.

"Thank you, dear. I'm glad you came with Richard. I've always wanted to meet you." She offered Kate a small smile. "Martha talks a lot about you."

"Really?" They both asked, surprised, and Margaret chuckled quietly. "I mean, what has Mother been telling you?" Rick wondered in confusion and she waved a hand in dismissal.

"All wonderful things, Richard. All wonderful things." She said and turned to Kate. "It's great to finally meet you, Detective."

"You too." Kate smiled and turned to Rick after the woman excused herself and wondered off. "What was that about?" She asked, amused, and he shrugged.

"No idea. Guess you're quite famous in my family, thanks to my mother." He laughed quietly and tugged on her hand again as they made their way to where the rest of the family was.

"Should I be scared?" She asked lightly, glad to see him smiling again. He bumped her shoulder with his.

"Nah, you'll like them." He said with conviction and Kate smiled. "I just wish the circumstances were better." He finished quietly and Kate leaned against his side, pressing a light kiss to his jaw.

"Me too." She agreed and they were silent for a moment.

"You would've loved Sam, Kate. He was such a fun guy." He said reminiscently and Kate nodded as they took their seats.

The ceremony was beautiful and Kate found herself tearing up a little, even if she hadn't even met Sam. There were so many people, friends and family, who came to say their last goodbye to this person Rick had loved so dearly, that she had to wipe a few tears discreetly. She looked at him and found the tears falling freely down his cheeks, under his sunglasses. His jaw was set and he seemed to be gritting his teeth in order to stop crying. She leaned in, brushed a gentle kiss to his cheek and whispered in his ear that it was okay to cry. His only reaction was to look down, his shoulders shaking slightly, as she held on tightly to his hand.

After the coffin was finally laid on the ground and people started to disperse, they stood up. Before she could say anything, he pulled her into a bone crushing hug, burying his nose in her hair. They stayed like this for a couple of minutes as she rubbed soothing circles on his back. When he pulled away, he framed her face with his hands and kissed both her cheeks. She reached up and wiped away the path the tears had left on his face.

"Thank you." He said simply and she nodded, turning her head to press a kiss to his palm. "I don't know what I'd do without you." He rested his forehead on hers and Kate let out a sigh, closing her eyes, her arms slipping around his waist.

"Right back at you." She said and he smiled, his love for her obvious in his eyes. Kate fought the intense urge to say those three words to him, but she knew it wasn't the right time. They remained in that spot for another moment, their breaths mingling in the tiny space that separated their lips.

"We should go. Aunt Margaret is having a brunch of sorts back at the house. Do you mind?" He pulled away, but kept his arm around her waist. She shook her head. "Alright, we don't even have to stay long."

"We can stay for as long as you want, Rick. This is your family. Don't worry about me." She told him and he smiled, guiding her back to the car.

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><p>Margaret's house was right on the beach and the family filled the house. Rick introduced her to everyone and they all had the same reaction his Aunt had had at the cemetery, to the point that Kate was blushing slightly when they told her for the hundredth time how much they had wanted to meet Rick's muse. He seemed to have fun with it and she let him. If that's what it took to distract him from that black hole of pain and grief, then she was more than willing to do it.<p>

Brunch passed with lots of stories about Sam going around the huge dining table, but Kate couldn't take her eyes off of his daughter. She seemed to be no older than twelve and Rick had introduced her to Kate earlier. Her name was Julia and she was Sam's oldest child. He had left three kids behind. Julia and a pair of three-year-old twin boys, who were playing quietly now that brunch was over. They had retreated to the living room and several groups were talking amongst themselves. She could hear Rick telling a story to one of his cousins, but her attention kept wandering back to the sad little girl that was leaning against the railing on the porch outside, looking at the ocean.

After a while, she excused herself, and made her way outside. She wasn't sure if it was her place or if she was doing the right thing, but she just couldn't ignore that grieving little girl all by herself out there. She needed to do something.

Stepping quietly out onto the porch, she approached her, leaning against the railing next to her. Julia looked up at her and she reminded Kate so much of a younger Alexis that Kate felt her chest hurt. The girl looked out at the ocean again and they stayed silent for a few minutes.

"You're the detective, right?" The girl finally broke the silence, her voice surprisingly firm. Kate looked down at her and nodded. "The one Uncle Rick writes about in his books?"

"Yeah, that's me." Kate said quietly and the girl nodded.

"Dad talked about it. That Uncle Rick was working with the police and stuff. He always talked about him and the good old days." She finished in a whisper and Kate watched as she wiped a tear away angrily.

"Rick talked a lot about your dad." She offered, unsure of what she should say. "About how he spent his summers here and that he thought your dad was the coolest guy ever when they were growing up." She said and Julia smiled, another tear escaping, which she quickly brushed away. "It's okay to cry, you know." She told her softly, but Julia shook her head, biting on her lip to keep the tears at bay.

"I can't. I have to be strong for Matty and Peter." She turned to check on her little brothers quickly and turned back to Kate. "I don't know what to tell them. I think Grams told them that dad went to be with mom and that he wouldn't be coming back, but I don't think they really got it." She whispered, her words coming out fast and Kate felt like someone had punched the air out of her lungs. She had no idea they had already lost their mother as well.

"They'll understand eventually. Maybe it's better this way." She managed to say, but her heart ached for this orphan little girl and her sense of protection of her younger brothers.

"Yeah. I don't want them to ever feel like this. Like," she swallowed hard and took a deep, shaky breath before continuing. "Like someone is ripping your heart out. It hurts too much and I don't want them to go through that." She whispered harshly as two fat tears escaped her blue eyes and her chin quivered. "I just can't believe he's gone, you know?" An unwanted sob escaped and Kate didn't think before she wrapped the girl in a hug.

"I know it hurts now, Julia. Feels like nothing makes sense anymore, right?" She ran a hand through the girl's reddish blonde hair gently and felt Julia nod against her side. "But you have to hold onto all the happy memories you have of him. And I know that wherever you go for the rest for your life, no matter how old you are, he will always be watching over you. Always. Whenever you're scared or sad, you just think of him and how much he loved you and all the good times you had together." She looked down at her and found the girl's bright blue eyes shining with tears. "I know it seems impossible now. But it will get easier, I promise. And when your little brothers get a little bit older you can tell them all about their amazing father and how much he loved you guys."

Julia nodded and was silent for a few minutes, trying to get her emotions in check. Kate looked behind them and found Rick watching them from the living room. She smiled at him and he nodded, offering her a small, grateful smile in return. Julia turned back to her and bit her lip, leaning against her shoulder. It was amazing, Kate thought, how kids took comfort in little things, even if it came from someone they had just met.

"Thanks, Detective Beckett." She whispered and Kate smiled down at her. "I'm sorry to dump this on you. I didn't mean to and…" She started to apologize, but Kate shook her head, effectively silencing her.

"You can call me Kate, sweetie. And you have nothing to apologize for, believe me." She reassured the girl and Julia nodded, looking out at the ocean again. The sun was shining brightly and the beach was filled with tourists. It was such a contradiction today.

They were quiet for a couple of minutes.

"What's it like in New York?" Julia asked curiously, breaking the silence, and Kate sighed in relief, before telling the girl all about the city she loved so much, glad that she could distract her for a little while.

* * *

><p>"You were amazing today." He told her as they walked back to their car in the late afternoon. Kate turned to him and he was watching her with such love and affection that it took her breath away. "Really, Kate. I saw you with Julia and she was so much calmer after talking to you." He put an arm around her shoulders and felt Kate shrugging.<p>

"I know what she's going through." She said simply and he nodded, kissing her temple as they reached the car. He leaned against it for a moment and pulled her into a hug. "You didn't tell me they had already lost their mom." She whispered and heard him sigh.

"Her name was Sarah. She died when the twins were born. Complications during the c-section. I'm not entirely sure what happened, but I think she had some kind of massive hemorrhage during surgery and didn't pull through." He explained and she pulled back to look at him. He brushed her hair behind her ear, but the wind insisted on making it fly about.

"That's so sad. Those poor little kids, losing both their parents at such a young age." She shook her head, her eyes suddenly burning with unshed tears. "I told Julia she could come visit sometime. She's never been to New York. Is that okay?" She asked unsure and he beamed at her, his eyes sparkling with his feelings for her.

"Of course it's okay, Kate. You have no idea what you did for that child today." He whispered and framed her face with his hands. "No idea. You are the most amazing person I know." He continued and finally closed the distance between them, pressing his lips to hers in a gentle kiss.

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><p><strong>AN: Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I just wanted to take the time to say thank you to everyone. You guys have been nothing short of amazing and this story has really helped me externalize everything that's been going on. I knew writing was therapeutic, but I had no idea how much until this week. So thank you for going along for the ride with me and for all the support and comforting words. They really, really helped.**

**Also, stay tuned for a sequel of sorts in the next couple weeks. Hope you guys enjoy this last installment.**

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><p><strong>A Helping Hand<strong>

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

Kate had thought that when they finally kissed, there would be some sort of fireworks or maybe the center of the Earth would shift on its axis, something incredibly powerful and dramatic. Because, really, the intensity of their feelings for each other was so great and the wait for this moment so long that she thought that something like this would warrant this kind of earth shattering reaction.

But it didn't.

Instead, it felt familiar and comfortable and so incredibly right that it seemed like they had been doing this for years. Of course her heart was thumping wildly in her chest and she could almost hear her blood rushing through her veins in ecstasy, but the world didn't end and their friendship wasn't ruined like she had feared it would happen once they took that huge step. When his lips touched hers, her only reaction was to melt into it, her arms slowly coming around his waist and hugging him close as his mouth worked gently over hers. It was slow and tender and gentle and so full of emotions; nothing like their first kiss over a year ago had been.

She sighed when his tongue gently traced her bottom lip and parted her mouth to welcome him inside, deepening their connection. The feelings bubbling up inside of her were so intense that she was sure that if she severed their contact she would explode. Kissing him like this, finally, was like an outlet for all her pent up love for him and if she stopped now, she doubted she would be able to reign it back in and hold everything inside like she had gotten so used to in the past couple of years.

He pulled away for a moment and she used this break to catch her breath, before he took her lips again. This time, though, he peppered slow, lingering kisses on them, his hands travelling down her body in a gentle exploration before settling on her hips and then meeting on the small of her back, when he promptly pulled her body even closer. She went willingly, leaning against him, taking all he had to offer from his lips. After a few minutes – or hours, she wasn't quite sure – she pulled away, her hand touching his cheek gently, and pressed one last kiss on his bottom lip, sucking on it tenderly. He smiled at her when their eyes met and she returned it in kind. If it hadn't been for the extenuating circumstances, Kate could have easily considered this trip as perfect.

His phone ringing in his pocket broke the spell surrounding them and he sighed, looking at her apologetically before pulling his phone out. He kept an arm wrapped firmly around her waist, pulling her weight against him and she rested her head on his shoulder, placing a chaste kiss to his neck. She could feel his voice vibrating through the skin of his throat as he greeted whoever was calling and closed her eyes, reveling in the intimacy of their contact now.

"Oh, hey, mom. Yeah, I called you earlier." She heard him say and pulled away, intending to give him some privacy, but he kept his hold on her tight and shook his head when she looked at him questioningly. "Stay. Please." He murmured and she sank back into his touch. He kissed her temple and took a deep breath. "Yeah, I was trying to get a hold of you guys because…" His voice caught in his throat and she pressed a kiss to his jaw, encouragingly. "Mom, I'm at Aunt Margaret's. No, no, she's fine. It's Sam, mom." His voice shook and she felt him hold onto her tighter, resting his forehead on her hair.

Kate wrapped her arms around him again.

"I'm right here. You can do this." She whispered in his ear and kissed his cheek when she felt him nod stiffly.

"There was an accident and he… he didn't make it." The last part came out in a harsh whisper as a tear escaped the corner of his eye. Kate caught with her thumb and kept her hand gently on his cheek, trying to somehow give him strength through their touch. She could faintly hear Martha's reaction on the other side of the line and her heart ached for this family as she rested her forehead on his. "Yeah, the funeral was this morning. I didn't call last night because it was late and you guys wouldn't be able to make it back in time, anyway." He explained, his voice still unsteady. "I arrived late last night. No, Kate is with me. Yeah, she did. I know." He sighed and pressed his lips to hers in a lingering kiss. "Okay, let me know when you guys are flying in. I'll pick you up and drive you back here. No, don't worry about it. Yeah. Okay, love you too, mom. Tell Alexis I'll call in a couple of hours, alright? Yeah." He hung up and let out a shaky breath. "I had no idea this was going to be so hard." He confessed and Kate gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Losing someone is never easy, especially when it's family." She said quietly and he nodded, pulling back to look at her. A smile slowly formed on his lips and his eyes lit up when they met hers. She bit her lip and touched his cheek. "Hanging in there?" She asked softly and he nodded, turning his head to kiss her palm.

"Thank God you're here." He murmured and closed his eyes for a moment. "They're coming back first thing in the morning. Mother wants to come up here, stay with Aunt Margaret for a while." He explained and she nodded, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

"That's good. Your aunt could definitely use all the support she can get right now." She whispered against his skin and hugged him again with a sigh.

"Yeah. I'm picking them up at the airport and she wants to come straight here, so I'm probably driving back here tomorrow or Monday." He ran his fingers gently through her hair before asking. "I might not come in for a couple of days. Do you mind?" He said and she pulled back to look at him.

"Why would I mind, Rick? This is your family. You should be with them right now." She said firmly, but he still looked torn. "Hey,_ this_?" She gestured between them. "This is not going to change, okay? Don't even think about that right now, it's not important."

"Of course it's important, Kate." He protested and she sighed, looking down. "But we can talk this out later. That's what you meant, right?" He continued and she nodded, amazed (but not really) at how he could practically read her thoughts.

"You know, don't you?" She said softly, playing with one of the buttons of his shirt. "You _know_ I love you." He didn't respond right away and she summoned up every ounce of courage she possessed to look up at him. He was watching her, a storm of emotions flashing in his eyes, as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, unsuccessfully trying to speak.

"I know now." He managed to spill out a minute later (the longest minute of her life) and she bit her lip, not knowing how to respond. He pulled her back flush against his body and suddenly his lips were assaulting hers in a passion filled kiss. "Say it again." He murmured, showering butterfly kisses on her neck and jaw. "Please."

"I love you." She gasped when he sucked on a particularly sensitive spot on her neck. He grinned against her skin and asked again. "I love you." She said more firmly this time, laughing when he kissed her nose, her eyes, cheeks, and then finally found her lips.

"Yeah?" He pulled back slightly, the joy in his eyes unmistakable. She smiled with a nod and leaned in to kiss him again.

"Yeah." She whispered in his ear and tugged on his earlobe. He burrowed his face in the crook of her neck and they stood there, holding each other for a couple of minutes.

"Kate?" He murmured after a while, not moving from their current position. She hummed an acknowledgement of his question and tightened her hold on him, leaning fully against his body. "I love you." He admitted and she pulled away to look in his eyes, a conflicting myriad of feelings fighting for dominance. She could still see his grief for his cousin's untimely death, but the joy at her confession shone brightly as well. "Like, a lot. So much that I don't know what to do with myself right now." He confessed and she laughed quietly, leaning in to press a kiss to his lips.

"We can start by driving back home." She smiled happily at him and tugged on his hand when she stepped away from his embrace. "I'll even let you drive." She teased and he chuckled, pulling her in suddenly for another searing kiss that made her head spin.

"Will you pay for my burger at that diner too?" He said playfully and she shoved him lightly when she passed him to make her way around the car to the passenger side.

"You're really making the girl pay on the first date?" She asked with a laugh as they put their seatbelts on.

"This is hardly the first date, Kate, and you know it."

"Yeah, I do." She smiled at him and reached out, resting her hand on his thigh. He threw a smile in her direction and pulled the car onto the street. They were silent for a few minutes and Kate watched the sun slowly make its way toward the horizon as he sped down in traffic.

"Hey," He caught her attention, touching her hand and entwining their fingers together. "Thanks for coming with me." He said quietly and the several layers of that statement washed through her before she could respond.

"Partners, remember?" She said and he brought her hand to his lips, before speaking.

"Partners."

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><p><strong>AN: Thoughts?**


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